I know that you do not agree with my decision to accompany Rama and Sita in the forest, but Rama is my dearest brother and it is my duty to serve him wherever that may be. Please do not worry about me. I assure you that we are going to be fine. Between Rama's skills with a bow and mine with my sword we could take on every living creature in this countryside if we had to. That being said, we have been wandering around for a week and have not encountered any dangers yet. I will send more letters soon.
Love,
Lakshmana
Dear Mother,
A lot has happened since I last wrote you. Bharata traveled to us to convince Rama to take his rightful place on the throne. Part of me was hoping that he would accept this offer so we could return home. I only wished that because I am bored here; who would have guessed that hanging out with your brother and his wife in the middle of a forest could be so dull? Anyway, Rama said that neither he nor Bharata could overrule what our father has ordered. He has more obedience than I. I guess that is what makes him so fit for the throne.
P.S. Please write back. I miss you.
Love,
Lakshmana
Dear Mother,
I still haven’t heard from you! These last few days have been crazy! A demon named Viradha picked Sita up and ran away. Our arrows and swords barely even fazed the beast, but they made him mad enough to turn around and to charge Rama and me. He then picked us up and began to run as we broke his arms. He could not be killed so we threw him into a pit to keep him out of our way. Then a Rakshasa named Surpanakha tried to seduce Rama, but Rama quickly shut that down. This angered her and pushed her to attack Sita at which point I cut off her nose and ears. Long story short, her brother brought an entire army of their kind against us. Luckily Rama was able to defeat them with his arrows while I hid Sita. One thing is for sure; this adventure has no longer been boring.
Love,
Lakshmana
Dear Unresponsive Mother,
It’s hard enough not being able to see you, but not hearing back from you after several letters is icing on the cake. Have you forgotten your son? Today Rama hunted a beautiful deer for Sita. I figured it was a demon playing tricks on us though. Sita and I heard Rama’s voice crying for help in the woods, but I know my brother better than that. He is way too smart and skillful to get himself into a threatening situation. Sita on the other hand yelled at me because she believed Rama was crying for help. We argued about it for a while. She can be really mean. Anyway, I gave in and went to search for Rama, which is exactly what the demon was hoping for. He carried her off! I hope for my own sake we can retrieve her while she is still alive. Rama is going to kill me for leaving her alone if we don't. I will let you know how everything turns out in my next letter.
Love,
Lakshmana
Author's Note:
The original story is about Rama getting banished to the woods through an unfortunate set of events. Lakshmana and Sita accompany him on his journey refusing to let him go alone. The banishment lasts for fourteen years in which period a lot of things happen to them. The story is told using narrator style.
All of the events and characters from the original story were left exactly like they were. I changed the storytelling style from narrator to written letters. These letters are written by Lakshmana to his mother and are transported using carrier pigeons. He has no wife in this version in order to cut down on the length of the letters. This allows us to focus on Lakshmana and his side of the story; he was not a very big part of the original story.
I used this picture of the deer hunt because it was a major component to this story. The deer hunt was the cause of a long string of events from Sita’s capture all the way through her rescue.
My goal in this story is to show that there are many different sides to every story. Lakshmana does not get as much publicity throughout the original as Sita or Rama, but he is involved as much as they are. His side could be as exciting or more exciting than Rama’s depending on the reader.
Bibliography:
Rama and Bharata, PDE Ramayana, Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
Viradha, PDE Ramayana, translated by Manmatha Nath Dutt (1891).
Shurpanakha and Rama, PDE Ramayana, Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
Lakshmana and Shurpanakha, PDE Ramayana, Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
Battle with Khara, PDE Ramayana, Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
The Golden Deer, PDE Ramayana, Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
The Chase, PDE Ramayana, Donald A. Mackenzie (1913).
Jatayu and Ravana, PDE Ramayana, Sister Nivedita (1914).
Taler, this story was great! This writing style was very unique! It made your story stand out that much more compared to the rest of the traditionally done stories. It was very interesting in the letters how you mixed modern day slang and jargon with some older terminology. It kept the story in the correct time period while sounding relevant to today’s time. Great job and I can’t wait to read more from you!
ReplyDeleteI like the format of this storytelling. It gives us an opportunity to get inside the head of Rama’s close friend and ally! I would say that it would be interesting to see more of his point of view. It would be cool to have more of the inner commentary. His hidden desires, missing his wife, people of court… a hidden lover?
ReplyDeleteThe unresponsive mother bit? Comedy gold. That was awesome!
Hello Taler,
ReplyDeleteI chose your blog randomly, however I enjoyed reading it. It was a great way to retell a story. The way you wrote the story was different in various ways, which is really good. I really liked how you wrote it in a letter format. Mother not answering back was also a great idea by showing her madness. The story itself was very similar to the original Ramayana. However, it was a great idea to talk to your mother through letters. Maybe answering back one letter could have informed about the mother’s mind situation, like what was going on in her mind or something like that. It was nice that Lakshmana kept writing letters even though he was not getting any answer from his mother. I think that is what one would call a true love and care for his mother even though she was being very rude for not answering. I enjoyed it. Good Job!
Hey Taler! What a creative story! I have never thought of narrating and illustrating experiences conveyed through letters to a family member! I think it is funny how much effort Rakshmana puts into writing to his mother and she never writes back, it must be frustrating for him. This gave a great overview of the story in a different perspective. I also thought it was funny how Rakshmana initially says he is bored while “third-wheeling” it with Sita and Rama, as if they never speak with him or include him in anything. I would be interested to see if the mother is even receiving these letters or not. That could be one explanation to her unresponsiveness. However, if she was receiving the letters why was she not writing back? Or was she writing back and the letters somehow did not make it to Rakshmana. Lastly, I would be interested to see what the mother’s reply would be on how things were going at the kingdom. Thanks for the great read Taler!
ReplyDeleteTaler, written letters storytelling styles seems very interesting for the story that you have decided on. I agree you on the part that Lakshmana didn’t get more involved on the story as he should have because he went through the exact same situation like Rama and Sita. I also liked the fact that you tried to show that Lakshmana’s mother was not replying back to the letters. Well done. I really enjoyed reading your story
ReplyDeleteI love how you retold this part of the Ramayana. I agree that we as readers do not get to see much contribution from Lakshmana, so it was nice to see how you built his role throughout these crucial points in the plot. You were able to clearly summarize the stories in each letter, but also develop Lakshmana's character while including other elements of the story such as his mother and the dull early times of Rama's exile. I think it would be cool if you emphasized how Lakshmana was a third wheel to Rama and Sita during the journey.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to formatting, each letter is clearly spaced out evenly away from the others. This made it easy to follow the story flow while keeping track of each individual letter. I like the image you included in the end, and I think you could include an image for each of the other letters as if Lakshmana is sending a postcard to his mother with each post.
Excellent job, and I truly look forward to reading some more later.
Taler,
ReplyDeleteI think this story is thoughtful and creative! I really enjoyed the concept of this story with a small bit of humor (unresponsive mother lol). It is funny to me because while being in college it's always the other way around, my mother trying to contact me. I think you chose a great picture to compliment your story. Good work Taler. I can't wait to read more of your stories.
Hi Taler, Just got done reading your Week 2 storytelling assignment about the Lakshmana’s Letters. This was a very interesting way to write the story. I liked it a lot and I will think about using this style in the future with my stories. I also liked how you were writing to your mother in this story. I thought each letter was passionate and it seemed like you knew what you were going to say before you said it. It was really thought out in my opinion. Another thing I liked was how it was one sided. You made it only about Lakshmana and his mother but why I say it was one sided is because the mother never responded to the letters. It is a different approach and I like it because it leaves the mom mysterious. This story was very good and again I liked the style. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHi, Taler!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you formatted your narrative. The storytelling style is a perfect choice for staying close to the original characters and scenes while adding your own spin and angle to the material. I also like that you chose to use Lakshama as the narrator. I agree that he doesn’t get much attention throughout the Ramayana, and it was interesting to see something written from his perspective. Nicely done!
Taler, I found your format of how you wrote the story very unique and interesting. I myself have not tried this letter writing style and it looks like it may be tough and require some planning ahead. Although your story turned out really well and I appreciated the extra insight we obtained about Lakshmana in your story. Telling the story from his point of view gives another perspective to the original story. It was also comical that one of the letters was Dear, "Unresponsive mother". I may try to do this storytelling style in one of my future posts. In addition, I thought the image you included in your posts was very fitting for the story. I noticed as well that this seemed to be the part in the story which caused the domino effect of events that led Lakshmana, Sita, and Rama to where they are now. Also I believe a good image selection is vital for helping the reader imagine the story you are trying to tell. All in all, it was an enjoyable read and I look forward to reading more of your posts. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHello there Taler,
ReplyDeleteFor this week assignment I just randomly picked your blog. I really enjoy the letter style of your story. It does exactly what you want it too. It lets the reader get to know Lakshamana a little better. It is really sad that is mother isn’t responding to him though! I am also doing my story on a character that doesn’t have much screen play, Draupadi.
The way you spaced out your story was very good. On the longer letters maybe you could make them into two different paragraphs. Like the last on you could maybe go on a longer rant about the mother and its own paragraph. Another suggestion would to maybe have the picture of the deer right before that last letter. To break up the story some more as well as foreshadow a bit as to what you are going to talk about.
Great story!
Hi Taler,
ReplyDeleteI decided to revisit your blog for the free choice this week. I enjoyed the story telling style you chose. I thought Lakshamana was an interesting choice to use as the main character. He gave up everything to wander the forest with his brother and sister-in-law. I constructed a similar letter for one of our past assignments. Rama was my main character and he wrote to his mother. It was kind of depressing that his mother was not responding to his correspondence. It left me wondering if something happened to his mother or what? I thought the last salutation "unresponsive mother" was funny! It put the reading back on a happy note. The only suggestion I could make is maybe Lakshamana could write his wife he left behind a letter. He could go into detail about why he made the decision to leave his family behind and travel with Rama.
Overall the format was good and you did an excellent job.
Hello Taler,
ReplyDeleteI believe this is my first time visiting your blog and I have to take a second to compliment the layout and overall color scheme of this blog. I think it is very user friendly and it is aesthetically pleasing to the user!
You are a very creative writer and I love the writing style that you used for this story. I liked your choice of using Lakshamana as the main character and I thought that it added a depth to the story that the original did not have. Although you kept the general storyline the same and the interactions between the characters the same, I thought that your story was still very unique compared to the original.
In your authors note, you spoke about outlining the different sides of the stories and I think that is such a neat idea for the story. You are completely right, even in real life there are many sides of the story and I think that the way in which you chose to write here, really gave the story more depth.
Hi Taler,
ReplyDeleteI LOVE stories in an epistolary format. I don't know why, but I just really like how they are very one dimensional, but at the same time not. I think you did an amazing job exhibiting Lakshamana's frustration with the lack of response from his mother from letter to letter. Sometimes that is hard to get across effectively and I think you did a wonderful job with it. I am also really happy you didn't include a single response from his mother because it adds a bit of mystery and lets the reader decide why the mother isn't responding. I think another literary tool that adds a level of depth to the story is the length of the letters as the story progresses. Perhaps he thought if he wrote more his mother would be more likely to respond? It was a nice touch to have the visual aspect of the words play into the story. I truly did adore this story. You did a wonderful job. Thank you for sharing this!
I’ve seen a few different stories in the semester that have a letter writing style but yours is very unique. I thought it was very creative to have Lakshmana write several letters to his mother, and not have her respond to him. I think this did two things for your story: it allowed you to tell the full story in small parts, and it also showed how the mother felt about the situation without actually having to speak. Using the greeting “unresponsive mother” helped convey her feelings as well. I like the tone you chose to use for Lakshmana. As he is the younger of the two brothers, I found it appropriate that he seems to be a bit clueless and blunt about things. He kind of has an “I told you so” attitude towards Sita in the last letter which really made me laugh! It makes the story seem more realistic and like the two have a modern day brother relationship.
ReplyDelete